Air Show

      On Saturday, Ryan, Rylee, and I went with Ryan's dad to the air show in Halls. We had a lot of fun. The weather was sunny and breezy, so it was just right for spending time outside.

      The air show was amazing. It lasted for about an hour and a half and there were so many planes that could do these outstanding stunts. It was a lot of fun to watch.

      Rylee watched the planes some of the time, but since we had to look up to see them and they weren't in her direct field of vision, she wasn't all that into them. She spent a lot of time snuggling with her "gran-da-da" instead of paying attention to the show.

     After the show was over, we walked around and looked at different vendors and we got to go see the planes. It was really cool. Overall, it was a very good day!

15 Month Check-Up

      Today Rylee had her 15 month check-up with Dr. Melton. She was 20 lbs, 4 oz and 32 inches long. She's in the 30th percentile for weight and the 90th percentile for height. Let's see... She wears size 3 diapers, size 12 M clothes, and size 4 shoes. She has 10 teeth and has been acting like she may be cutting a few more teeth here soon. She eats 1/2 cup of infant/toddler cereal and a fruit cup for breakfast, yogurt and a fruit and grain bar for lunch, an afternoon snack(usually animal crackers, fruit snacks, or cheese puffs), and table food for dinner. She can be a bit of a picky eater sometimes, but she seems like she may be getting better about that. She drinks solely from a sippy cup, no bottle. She does not walk yet unless she has something to hold onto. She talks like crazy. She says about 15-20 clear words with which she attaches meaning, a couple of sentences, and tons of little chatter sounds.

      She got her first MMR vaccination and her first flu shot today. She doesn't really cry for her shots, she cries because she can't stand for the nurse to hold her down. As soon as I pick her up off the table, the tears usually stop. She's such a good girl! They told us to watch her closely tonight; since she had 2 new vaccines today, she could have some sort of reaction. She hasn't had a reaction to any of her previous shots, so we're praying that it's the same for the ones she got today.

First Trip to the Zoo

      Yesterday we went to Memphis to visit Aunt Mel and Uncle Josh. We had talked about maybe going to the zoo, and it was a pretty day so we decided to take Rylee for her first trip. She was really excited. She loved getting to see so many new things.

     When we would come up to an animal she would say, "What's that?" I would tell her what it was, and then she would try to say it, or just say "Oh," if the name was too hard for her to try to say. Her favorites were the tigers who she lovingly called "dogger". :) While we walked through the cats exhibits she constantly said "Me-ow". It was pretty cute because lions, panthers, cheetahs, and tigers don't typically say "me-ow."

   She got pretty tired by the end of the visit and wanted a break form being held. She took the chance to have a nice chat with her Aunt Mel and then she got into her stroller and rested for a bit. It was a very good first visit, and I'm glad we waited until she was old enough to enjoy it!

2 Weeks Down...

     This week of school was a little better than last (especially since it was a short week due to labor day!). I still feel kinda lost but I am trying to just take things one step at a time, and it's a lot less overwhelming! Rylee has been kinda grouchy. She's always been a schedule girl, and now she's gotta get used to a new schedule that includes a lot of time away from her home. It makes me feel bad for her, tho. I just want her to be happy.
     Ryan and I took her to the park one morning this week. She really loves that. She loves to spend time outside, and she doesn't get to do that very often because we live in an apartment complex. I love spending time with my little family, and I feel very blessed that I get to spend a lot of my time with them. I know what's to come and how busy things will get soon, so I want to soak it up now while I can.

    I've done a lot of soul searching on the issue of leaving Rylee and I still don't know where I stand on that issue. A lot of people sacrifice time with their kids to go to school or work and say they are doing what is "best" for their kids. Is it really best? I'm not sure. If you value money and worldly success and social rules, then definitely. You cannot be successful without an education and putting in time. How much do I care if I am "successful" or not? I'm not sure.
     I study Early Childhood Education, which means that my degree includes a lot of studying of the development of infants, toddlers, and children. There are more theories on child development than you can count, but one stands out to me: Erikson's Psychosocial Stages. He suggests that each and every human being faces different crises in their lives and how they come through these crises determines how they will function throughout life. (I'm simplifying this a bit, and there's more to it, but you're getting the general idea.) Anyway, he says that the first crisis that each infant faces is basic trust vs. mistrust. Can they trust their parents to take good care of them or not? Erikson suggests that it is at this very young age that most people develop their trust/abandonment issues. That makes it seem like constantly leaving your young child to go "better" yourself, will be detrimental to them in the long run, right? It's surely a possibility.
     Another thing I've been considering is the mother's place. For so long, so many people thought that it was only natural for a mother's place to be in the home taking care of her children. Where did this idea come from? Was it all a big conspiracy to devalue women? I'm not so sure. I think the only thing that devalued this lifestyle was the idea that raising children is not an important, all-consuming task. Was this the way God meant it to be when he sent Adam and Eve out of the garden and sentenced man to a lifetime of working for their food and woman to carry the burden of a child within their womb and suffer the pain of childbirth? Did He mean for the woman to stay home with the child she birthed and spend all her time and energy on raising that child or did He mean for woman to go out and work for her food, too and find someone else to help with the child while she did that? I'm not so sure he really meant for it to be one way or the other... Maybe a different situation is right for each family.
     By now, you probably think I'm completely off my rocker. I assure you I am not. I have just been deeply considering some aspects of my life.

Back to School Frustrations

      I put Rylee's hair up in a ponytail for the first time this week. She's growing up way too fast! This week I've definitely felt like I've been missing out. I'm pretty frustrated with school, it just doesn't seem like anything is working out right. I feel like I'm gaining a lot more by spending time at home with my daughter than by sitting in a classroom doing busy work or trying to pay attention to a professor that is rambling on for 3 hours straight about seemingly nothing.
     Rylee seemed to miss me too. She laid still and cuddled with me on the couch this evening for 2 hours straight; she even took a short nap on my chest. This is not her personality at all, so I can tell she just wanted to be near me. And, boy, did I need time to be close to her. I don't like having to come back from school and ask about my daughter's night. I want to know how her night was first hand. I don't like not being the one fixing her dinner or giving her baths.
     I'm frustrated beyond belief. But I know I'm gonna stick with it. I'm not a quitter, and I really don't have a choice. I graduate May 5, 2012. 8 months from Monday. I would say I look forward to that, and I do. I'm just not sure that I look forward to actually teaching. I'm scared I won't like it and all this will have been a waste. I don't even want to think about it. I think everyone has doubts when it comes to their career path. 21 seems too young to have the whole rest of your life planned out. I think that's why so many people go back to school later in life and try out a new career path; it's like a second chance.
     I have a love/hate relationship with school. I love it because it's easy for me, I almost always get good grades with very little effort. I hate it because it seems like the things that I have to do to earn those grades are pointless, like they have nothing to do with helping prepare me for the future.
     All these frustrations are aggravated by the fact that I hate to drive, and I spend 10+ hours per week driving just to go to school and back 4 times a week. 10 hours. That's a full day in Rylee's book considering she sleeps 14+ hours per day. Yea, that really sucks. Next semester that should ease up because I've requested to do my student teaching close to home. I hope that works out.
     No matter how frustrated I am, there's a light at the end of this tunnel. I'm almost done with college. I have nearly completed a bachelors degree in 4 years time (this is more uncommon than you'd think...). Even with getting married right after Freshman year, finding out about an unexpected pregnancy during Sophomore year and having a child that is so beautiful and precious and special that she makes me want to spend every moment with her before my junior year, I stuck to it and I got my work done, and I'm set to graduate on time. I'm pretty proud of that, and I don't think I'd let ANY amount of frustration mess that up.