2 Weeks Down...

     This week of school was a little better than last (especially since it was a short week due to labor day!). I still feel kinda lost but I am trying to just take things one step at a time, and it's a lot less overwhelming! Rylee has been kinda grouchy. She's always been a schedule girl, and now she's gotta get used to a new schedule that includes a lot of time away from her home. It makes me feel bad for her, tho. I just want her to be happy.
     Ryan and I took her to the park one morning this week. She really loves that. She loves to spend time outside, and she doesn't get to do that very often because we live in an apartment complex. I love spending time with my little family, and I feel very blessed that I get to spend a lot of my time with them. I know what's to come and how busy things will get soon, so I want to soak it up now while I can.

    I've done a lot of soul searching on the issue of leaving Rylee and I still don't know where I stand on that issue. A lot of people sacrifice time with their kids to go to school or work and say they are doing what is "best" for their kids. Is it really best? I'm not sure. If you value money and worldly success and social rules, then definitely. You cannot be successful without an education and putting in time. How much do I care if I am "successful" or not? I'm not sure.
     I study Early Childhood Education, which means that my degree includes a lot of studying of the development of infants, toddlers, and children. There are more theories on child development than you can count, but one stands out to me: Erikson's Psychosocial Stages. He suggests that each and every human being faces different crises in their lives and how they come through these crises determines how they will function throughout life. (I'm simplifying this a bit, and there's more to it, but you're getting the general idea.) Anyway, he says that the first crisis that each infant faces is basic trust vs. mistrust. Can they trust their parents to take good care of them or not? Erikson suggests that it is at this very young age that most people develop their trust/abandonment issues. That makes it seem like constantly leaving your young child to go "better" yourself, will be detrimental to them in the long run, right? It's surely a possibility.
     Another thing I've been considering is the mother's place. For so long, so many people thought that it was only natural for a mother's place to be in the home taking care of her children. Where did this idea come from? Was it all a big conspiracy to devalue women? I'm not so sure. I think the only thing that devalued this lifestyle was the idea that raising children is not an important, all-consuming task. Was this the way God meant it to be when he sent Adam and Eve out of the garden and sentenced man to a lifetime of working for their food and woman to carry the burden of a child within their womb and suffer the pain of childbirth? Did He mean for the woman to stay home with the child she birthed and spend all her time and energy on raising that child or did He mean for woman to go out and work for her food, too and find someone else to help with the child while she did that? I'm not so sure he really meant for it to be one way or the other... Maybe a different situation is right for each family.
     By now, you probably think I'm completely off my rocker. I assure you I am not. I have just been deeply considering some aspects of my life.