Back to School Frustrations

      I put Rylee's hair up in a ponytail for the first time this week. She's growing up way too fast! This week I've definitely felt like I've been missing out. I'm pretty frustrated with school, it just doesn't seem like anything is working out right. I feel like I'm gaining a lot more by spending time at home with my daughter than by sitting in a classroom doing busy work or trying to pay attention to a professor that is rambling on for 3 hours straight about seemingly nothing.
     Rylee seemed to miss me too. She laid still and cuddled with me on the couch this evening for 2 hours straight; she even took a short nap on my chest. This is not her personality at all, so I can tell she just wanted to be near me. And, boy, did I need time to be close to her. I don't like having to come back from school and ask about my daughter's night. I want to know how her night was first hand. I don't like not being the one fixing her dinner or giving her baths.
     I'm frustrated beyond belief. But I know I'm gonna stick with it. I'm not a quitter, and I really don't have a choice. I graduate May 5, 2012. 8 months from Monday. I would say I look forward to that, and I do. I'm just not sure that I look forward to actually teaching. I'm scared I won't like it and all this will have been a waste. I don't even want to think about it. I think everyone has doubts when it comes to their career path. 21 seems too young to have the whole rest of your life planned out. I think that's why so many people go back to school later in life and try out a new career path; it's like a second chance.
     I have a love/hate relationship with school. I love it because it's easy for me, I almost always get good grades with very little effort. I hate it because it seems like the things that I have to do to earn those grades are pointless, like they have nothing to do with helping prepare me for the future.
     All these frustrations are aggravated by the fact that I hate to drive, and I spend 10+ hours per week driving just to go to school and back 4 times a week. 10 hours. That's a full day in Rylee's book considering she sleeps 14+ hours per day. Yea, that really sucks. Next semester that should ease up because I've requested to do my student teaching close to home. I hope that works out.
     No matter how frustrated I am, there's a light at the end of this tunnel. I'm almost done with college. I have nearly completed a bachelors degree in 4 years time (this is more uncommon than you'd think...). Even with getting married right after Freshman year, finding out about an unexpected pregnancy during Sophomore year and having a child that is so beautiful and precious and special that she makes me want to spend every moment with her before my junior year, I stuck to it and I got my work done, and I'm set to graduate on time. I'm pretty proud of that, and I don't think I'd let ANY amount of frustration mess that up.