11 Months of Joy

      I cannot believe that one month from today my baby will be 1. Where does the time go?! The first year flies by and each stage is gone in the link of an eye. I am very sad that her first year has nearly come and gone already. Payton Joy is about 21 lbs and 28.5 in. She's been consistently in the 75th percentile for height and weight. She's still in 12 M clothes, size 4 diapers, and size 2-3 shoes. She typically sleeps from 7 - 5:30, then takes 2 naps. She's not consistent about her naps at daycare. She loves her crib, and she doesn't sleep well in a pack-n-play. She is "talking" up a storm lately. Her favorite thing to say is "bye Bye' and wave. She also has discovered clapping, and she loves to clap her hands.

     I just cannot believe how much she's grown. I wish they didn't grow so quickly at first. So much changes in the first year. It's such a blur. I want to go back and hold that teeny tiny baby while she napped, or hear her first coos and babbles again. I miss her gummy little grins and her fuzzy dark hair. It's so sad how quickly they grow up! But I am thankful that I get to watch her grow and learn new things, and I wouldn't trade a single moment with her!

     She loves to eat! She has 5 teeth now (3 on top, 2 on bottom) and is working on number 6. Now that she has top teeth she can really chow down! She's started learning how to use a fork and she's pretty good at it. She eats all table food now. At daycare she eats a oatmeal for breakfast, leftovers from dinner the night before for lunch, and she takes 2 formula bottles. At home I nurse her first thing in the morning, as soon as I pick her up from daycare, and before bed. For dinner she eats whatever we eat. There are very few things that she has refused, and even if she refuses something I keep offering it to her (but definitely not forcing her), and eventually she seems to come around. If I don't cook for whatever reason, she usually eats a yogurt and something to go with it. She loves yogurt.

     She is so active now! She loves to rough house. She crawls so fast! She is also started to stand unsupported for short amount of time. She seems very interested in walking, but it doesn't seem she's strong enough to balance herself just yet. Rylee was just the opposite, she had the strength, but not the desire. Payton wants it so bad, so I know the minute she is capable, she will be going. I hope she holds off for a little longer though. I'm not ready for my baby to be walking around! I love the way she crawls, it's like she's in high gear. She zooms around the house, playing and exploring. It's so stinkin' cute.

    Her room has slowly transformed over this year from a nursery to a playroom. She loves to play and is getting to the point where she will sit and play independently for a block of time. But she likes it best when Rylee, Ryan or I (or all 3) come play with her. She gets so excited when Rylee comes and plays her baby toys with her.

     Even though I am sad about her growing up, I love this age a lot. Her little personality shines through more every day. She is such a funny little girl. Her huge smile and laugh are contagious. She's mischievous. She will do something like take my glasses off, then she gets the cutest little grin like "gotcha!" I can't help but laugh at her. I am so thankful that I am her mommy and I get to enjoy all these precious moments with her.

Weekend Fun

      I don't know how we did it, but we survived last week! Between it being my first week having all of my kindergartners each day and Rylee Love's first week of Pre-K, it was pure madness. Everyday I wondered how I was going to find the energy to do it all again the next day, but we made it! We celebrated by heading to a Jackson General's baseball game on Saturday.

   The girls had such an amazing time at the game. Payton LOVED taking in all the sights and sounds. She especially loved all the music and cheers. She clapped and clapped. Rylee Love had a blast on the inflatables. There were some big kids with no home training that were pushing and shoving, but she took it all in stride and had a blast. It definitely bothered me much more than it did her. By the end of the game she was tired and cranky and she wanted to leave. She got upset during the fireworks show because she just wanted to go home, but Payton really enjoyed it, and it was a really nice show.

     I love being a mommy more than anything, but it's difficult to say the least. I want my kids to be happy, but I also want them to be well-rounded and well-mannered. I feel like I'm not even sure what kind of parent I am or what kind I want to be. I want to be understanding and compassionate, but I don't want my kids to be spoiled or disrespectful. I want them to know how much I love them, but I don't want them to think the whole world should revolve around them. I want to help them, but I want them to be able to do things for themselves. And the main thing lately is I want Rylee to be able to express herself, but I don't want her to have to have a total meltdown every time she is unhappy. I'm not sure I'm doing anything right, but I'm doing the best I can.

       One thing I know for sure is that the good definitely outweighs the bad. For every tantrum and tear there is at least a hundred times as many smiles and laughs. For every "bad" moment, there are thousands more proud moments. For every anxious moment that being a parent brings, there are millions more moments of pure joy. And I know as Payton gets older, I will feel the exact same. For now, everything she does is cute and perfect, and I'm not quite ready for that stage to end. Discipline is the most difficult and the most important part of parenting. No one really tells you how hard it's going to be. I guess that's why there are so many children that have "no home training." It's much easier to let the child "win" all the time for now, but if you really want them to win in life, it's better to teach them how to lose and move on... I'm just in the process of trying to find balance.

Rylee's First Day of Pre-K

      Last night, I didn't sleep. I tossed and turned thinking about all the things that could possibly go wrong today. Don't get me wrong, I knew she would be in wonderful hands. She has an amazing teacher, and I knew everything possible would be done to help her have a good experience, but even though she is A LOT better than she once was, Rylee Love can be difficult at times. She's very quirky, and if you don't know her quirks, it can be easy to set her off. I just could picture a total meltdown happening at school, my place of employment, her place of education, it was a waking nightmare. This morning I felt even worse as she cried and fought me over every step in getting ready. She kept saying, "I just want to stay with you. I don't want to go to my new school!" It broke my heart. I just knew it was going to be an absolutely awful day.

     But I grinned and kept up an excited face. I turned on "Let It Go" in the car, and we played it on repeat. Around the 4th time, she started to join in, and I knew things were turning around. By the time we got out of the car, she was thrilled to be at her new school. She came into my classroom and set Pinky down. She said Pinky can take a nap today, and she left him there. I couldn't believe it! Then she excitedly walked to her class, and she was so happy to spot her teacher. As I walked away she was grinning and walking with an assistant to wait for her school to start. (Pre-K begins about 30 minutes after the rest of the school and ends later as well to help with traffic congestion during drop off and pick up times.) I hoped her good mood would continue, but I worried throughout the morning. It was EXTREMELY hard knowing she was so close, but I couldn't go in and see her. At recess, I saw her walking out to the playground in her line, and I was so proud of her. She was doing awesome. She didn't even want to stop for a second and talk to me. She spotted Bailey and ran to go play!

      She ended up having a great day, and has been talking nonstop about her new school. She loves it. There's a few things she's going to have to get used to, especially concerning breakfast, lunch, and snack, but she didn't freak out about anything. She woke up from her nap time a little disoriented, and she wanted me to carry her back to my room. But I honestly didn't mind taking her up in my arms after such an anxious day. She and Bailey watched a movie while I met with some other kindergarten teachers about lesson planning, and then we were off to drop Bailey off and pick up Pay-Pay.

      When we got home, she couldn't wait to show her daddy "hips and lips." She said, "I'm good at school. I know how to be quiet. Teachers don't like when kids don't know how to be quiet." I couldn't help but laugh at that. When I asked what she learned, she said, "I learned about hips and lips. I also learned about singing and dancing. We sing Frozen at school in our special music classroom." I'd say her first day at "big girl" school was a success! I can't believe how grown she is. She has a lot to learn, but she is only 4. I feel silly that I put so much pressure on her and especially on myself as her mom for her to be perfect at school. She's doing great, and I am so proud to be her mommy!

Back to School

      It's that time of year again! The time of year where teachers work long hours, walk around like zombies, and fall asleep at insanely early hours in the evening. Children aren't used to getting up early anymore, so mornings are anything but pleasant. Students haven't yet learned the ropes, so they need to be told how to do absolutely everything for several days in a row. And everything is just insane for at least the first month. Yep! School is back in session, and things have been crazy since day 1 of teacher inservice.

      Last weekend was tax-free weekend, so we went to Memphis and got Rylee some new tennis shoes and a few other things to help fill in the missing pieces of her wardrobe. We had fun, but by the end of the day, I was TIRED! Then Sunday we went to church, I went grocery shopping, and then the house needed cleaning.

       We have all been really tired, trying to get back into routine. The good thing is I've gotten lots of good snuggles from my girls who are usually too busy to snuggle. But even though I've been tired, I've had fun meeting all my new students and spending the week trying to get to know them. I have a great group of kids in my homeroom this year, and I can't wait to see how far they come this year! We are implementing a new literacy program this year, and I am SO excited about being able to push my students farther than ever before, but it is hard trying to learn something new.

      Thursday, I found out they had some extra slots open in our school's Pre-K, so Rylee Love will be starting "big girl" school tomorrow. I am excited to have her close to me, and it doesn't hurt that she's going to be getting a high-quality Pre-K education for free, but I am a bit sad about this new chapter in our lives. I cannot believe how quickly time has flown by. Yesterday, we went out shopping to get her everything she needed for school. We do a dress code in our county, so she needed "school clothes," and I got her a couple more pairs of shoes because she mostly had sandals and flip-flops and those are not in dress code. We went to lunch at Chik-fil-A, and she just talked me the whole time. It was almost surreal sitting there having a conversation over lunch with my BABY girl. Why is she so grown already?! I had the best day with her. We had so much fun shopping and laughing. I haven't had a day with just me and her in forever, so it was the perfect way to spend the Saturday before she begins her new school. Today we are going to church, then I hope the rest of the day is completely restful, and I hope it passes slowly.