Weekend Fun

      I don't know how we did it, but we survived last week! Between it being my first week having all of my kindergartners each day and Rylee Love's first week of Pre-K, it was pure madness. Everyday I wondered how I was going to find the energy to do it all again the next day, but we made it! We celebrated by heading to a Jackson General's baseball game on Saturday.

   The girls had such an amazing time at the game. Payton LOVED taking in all the sights and sounds. She especially loved all the music and cheers. She clapped and clapped. Rylee Love had a blast on the inflatables. There were some big kids with no home training that were pushing and shoving, but she took it all in stride and had a blast. It definitely bothered me much more than it did her. By the end of the game she was tired and cranky and she wanted to leave. She got upset during the fireworks show because she just wanted to go home, but Payton really enjoyed it, and it was a really nice show.

     I love being a mommy more than anything, but it's difficult to say the least. I want my kids to be happy, but I also want them to be well-rounded and well-mannered. I feel like I'm not even sure what kind of parent I am or what kind I want to be. I want to be understanding and compassionate, but I don't want my kids to be spoiled or disrespectful. I want them to know how much I love them, but I don't want them to think the whole world should revolve around them. I want to help them, but I want them to be able to do things for themselves. And the main thing lately is I want Rylee to be able to express herself, but I don't want her to have to have a total meltdown every time she is unhappy. I'm not sure I'm doing anything right, but I'm doing the best I can.

       One thing I know for sure is that the good definitely outweighs the bad. For every tantrum and tear there is at least a hundred times as many smiles and laughs. For every "bad" moment, there are thousands more proud moments. For every anxious moment that being a parent brings, there are millions more moments of pure joy. And I know as Payton gets older, I will feel the exact same. For now, everything she does is cute and perfect, and I'm not quite ready for that stage to end. Discipline is the most difficult and the most important part of parenting. No one really tells you how hard it's going to be. I guess that's why there are so many children that have "no home training." It's much easier to let the child "win" all the time for now, but if you really want them to win in life, it's better to teach them how to lose and move on... I'm just in the process of trying to find balance.