Tomorrow, I have student teacher orientation. Wednesday I meet my first cooperating teacher and her students. For the next 8 weeks, they will be my students, too. That excites and frightens me at the same time. I know I am capable and competent. I just fear the unknown. What if the student don't take to me? What if for some unknown reason they refuse to listen to me? What if I can't teach them anything? I know that this probably won't happen, but sometimes irrational fears are just as scary as perfectly reasonable ones.
I must say I have thoroughly enjoyed my break with this sweet girl. I love every minute of being her mommy. I often wish it could be my one and only job, but I know she won't be small forever, and what would I do when she started school? One of the many things I love about my future career as an educator is that every few months, I get a break, some time off to be a stay-at-home-mom.
Of course, there are lots of other things I love about teaching, too. It makes me feel important, like I'm making a difference in the lives of children. That means a lot to me. I also like how it's different everyday. Routine and schedules may be the same, but one school day will never be identical to the one before it or the one after it. The children make sure of it, and I love it. I also like the planning behind it all. When you're a child in school, you don't realize that your teacher is coming up with her lessons herself. You think there is some kind of script or something making her do everything she does. I like the creativity behind it all. Thinking of the best and most efficient way to teach a given concept. Sometimes it's trial and error, but if you effectively learn from each mistake, your students will learn, and you all will grow.
I'm going to be pretty busy these next few months, but I don't fear for it's effect on Rylee like I have during past semesters. I feel like we have bonded a lot in these past few weeks, and that she knows without a doubt that I love her. It also helps ease my mind that she will be spending most of her time at home this semester. Because Ryan works second shift and I will be teaching during the day, she will get to be home with him all morning, and I will pick her up less than an hour after she is dropped off at Granny's on most days. Mondays will be hard, when I won't be back to pick her up until after 9 PM. But 6 days out of the week, I will be the one feeding her supper and giving her her bath, and that is the most precious gift to me.
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