Payton's First Day of Daycare

     This morning was a tough one for this mama, but didn't Payton look so pretty for her first day of daycare?! I got up and got ready and focused on it being Payton's first day of daycare, but purposefully refused to focus on what that meant for me,: I had to go to work and leave my baby all day. Yesterday I cried until it gave me a headache and it didn't change anything, so I was determined not to cry today. I did good getting Payton and Rylee ready and getting everything in the car. I even did good on the ride to daycare, but once I got there, I felt sick to my stomach. IT was really, really hard to bring her inside. I dropped Rylee off in her preschool room and headed back to the nursery. I told Ms. Cindy, "Nene," about Payton's daily routine and gave her her supplies. Then came the hard part: I had to hand her over. Honestly, that part just sucked. I started bawling like a baby, and kissed her a few more times, snapped a picture of Payton with Nene, and then I left.

      I cried the entire way to school and had to sit in the parking lot and gather the strength to go inside and start my day. It was hard, but I did it. Once my 19 other "babies" came into the room, it got easier and easier. Unfortunately today, we had ESA testing, which is 45 minutes of me monitoring while the students test, and that gave me way too much time to think and miss my baby. Then while I was pumping her milk for tomorrow during my lunch, that obviously made me think of how much I missed her. Planning and recess were equally hard, and then I didn't get home until 4:30 due to meetings. Payton did great, she ate on her normal schedule and finished all of her bottles, she napped normally, and she didn't cry unless she needed something, but she did give me the biggest smile when I got home and held her, and she instantly wanted to nurse, even though it wasn't time for her to eat again. She missed me, but not nearly as much as I missed her, and that's a good thing. I would never want her to be miserable. I'm hoping today is as hard as it will ever be, and it will get easier each day, but I just don't know if that's true. I'm already dreading tomorrow. I love my time with my students, but I hate every second that I'm not teaching, and I hate, hate, HATE being without my precious baby. I know how quickly they grow up, and I don't want to miss out. Keep praying for me, and hopefully things will get better. Only 4 more days until Thanksgiving break: I think I can, I think I can....